I woke up this morning searching. Not knowing what for, exactly, but with that familiar pang of anxiety for the week ahead. Searching, perhaps, for guidance, peace of mind. The funny thing is, though - the week had hardly yet begun.
I began the morning routine of buzzing through emails on my phone, and though I don't usually realize it, I was already mentally reaching my emotional capacity before hardly stepping foot out of bed.
Up before the coffee maker (a serious problem within itself), awaking to a quiet home and the rustling around of my husband as he pursued his own pre-work, morning ritual.
I know I fall short. I fail consistently to reach the lofty goals I set for myself. I set standards for others that I couldn't possibly reach myself. There are so many things I don't yet understand, and in this search to figure each of them out, I culminate anxiety in many areas of life.
And yet, I realize that I'm human. I flounder, I am defeated by my own constructions, I struggle for control though I know that it is inevitably out of my reach. And this morning, after this inclination to question my state and seek resolve, I fall upon these words on two separate occasions and am once again reminded that it's all okay. Because He cares for me. And, I'm where I am supposed to be.
Do good. Be humble. Serve God, because He cares for you. I was reminded this morning that there is a way to be a light, even when I know well that I fall so short of the aspirations set out for me.
"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
I am reminded to be so thankful for the silent ways in which God can reel us back in. Here's to the start of a joyous, fruitful week of thanksgiving for what we have, humility in what we fall short of and a daily acceptance of the plans we have set out for us!